Midnight Beatdown

Anyone who has ever shared a bed with someone knows that having a large bed does not translate into having your own space.  Lets face it, you're sleeping and not really thinking about how you toss or turn.  Sometimes, though, things can get a little out of hand.

Last night I came to bed after watching Conan O'Brian, Mariam was already asleep.  I crawled into bed trying not to awake my peaceful bride and settled in for a good sleep.  After some minor jostling on my part, I found a comfortable position on my back and fell asleep.  In the middle of a dream about eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from a tree . . . WHAM!  I was struck in the face with a devastating right hook.  I awoke immediately thinking I was under attack only to find a comatose right arm pinning me to the mattress.  This might not sound all that bad, Mariam is very petite and hey. . . she's cuddling me.  Well let me assure you that when this black-haired sprite has you in something resembling a sleeper hold, you're not going anywhere until she decides you are.  After moving her arm ever so slightly to regain my airway I decided to not test my luck and wait for her to move on her own.  Now, I think I figured something out in this whole event, you ladies correct me if I'm wrong.  This seems like a perfectly good way to take out your frustrations on us guys for the multitude of idiot things we say and do, all while maintaining your innocence.  You also throw that cuddle in after the crime was committed so we can't get mad. . . tricky.  Well I'm onto your game and I will be sleeping with one eye open